when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
