tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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