You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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