and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
