I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize