Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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