I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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