I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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