Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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