I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The power of my boobs compel you
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize