Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
