I feel like I'm in dance class right now
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
