I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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