In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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