Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
