i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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