Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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