Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Drake has all the answers
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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