After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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