Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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