so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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