FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
