It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
...so i touched it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
