maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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