So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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