You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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