You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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