Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
