i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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