fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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