I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
