I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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