he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
from now on my penis is your penis
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
