Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
