That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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