i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
