He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
