And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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