How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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