yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
