I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoShamevember. You game?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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