wrigley field is MILF paradise
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
