She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
