i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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