I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Pooping to opera.
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