I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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