i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
