Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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