We're like a lot better than the average bears
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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