i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
