First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
