dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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