My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
