Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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