Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
