this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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