She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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