I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
