im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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