i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Randomize
