Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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