Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
