the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it glows. i had to have it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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