Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
