What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
