Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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