I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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